Alf calls the police

I got to dial 999 the other day. On the way into work a woman managed to spin her Punto across 2 lines of busy, high speed dual carriageway. I can't believe she didn't manage to hit anyone; this was the A11 at 9am. I just saw this car veering across in front of me before hitting the barrier on the left hand side ending up pointing the wrong way. I would have tried to turn the car round for her but it was pretty damn dangerous with the speed of the traffic so I called the police instead. Luckily she was unhurt but it entailed a bit of a wait in the rain.

On the plus side whilst having to stand in the p..ersistent rain waiting for the police I did get to chat to a very attractive female accountant who had also stopped to help. The fact that she mentioned having a boyfriend during our conversation I am convinced was entirely coincidental.

Recently on the way home, three horses decided to make a break for freedom just outside Six Mile Bottom (insert your own jokes here). It may be close to Newmarket but the only similarity between these and thoroughbed racehorses is their eventual resting place inside 2,000 cans of Pedigree Chum. Again, it was highly fortunate that no cars hit them. I had no chance of stopping as they were hidden until the last moment by hedgerows and was fortunate that no cars were approaching from the opposite direction and so I could simply veer around them.

This is the second near miss in as many months; in AlfWord I'm getting nervous.